Author Archives: Debbie Nichols

How do children cope with Deployment ?

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I always wondered what my granddaughters thought of living with us during our daughter’s deployment. Last fall  when I was visiting my granddaughters I asked  them if they ever thought of sharing their experiences about deployment  with other children. They both got very excited thinking about  possibly writing their story and sharing with other children. They thought  it would be “COOL” to write a book like I did. They both shared with me they felt they wanted to  help other military kids not to be frightened and what to expect when a parent deploys. I asked them would they like me to help them write  their story? And they agreed it would be fun.

I suggested that I interview them individually with out the other knowing what their answers would be. Ivie and Bailey both thought this would be fun.  I began interviewing  each one without the other one hearing how they answered. I told them to pretend that I was a reporter not their grandmother and they could be totally honest with their answers. They enjoyed me asking the questions.

Once we completed their interview  we started selecting pictures to place in their book. It was fun looking back and seeing how they have grown since they lived with me. My granddaughters chose to dedicate their book to a special friend who supported them during their stay. Ivie felt she wanted to add helpful tips  to kids and what she thought would help them better understand what deployment was like for her.

When interviewing my granddaughters I was surprised how honest they were and so willing to share their true feelings.

We all enjoyed working together and creating their book . It brought back many memories for all of us,sharing the good and bad times of deployment and our time together.

We have completed the book, Deployed Kids – How we survived our  mom’s deployment to Afghanistan. Ivie and Bailey hope to share their book with other military children facing their parents deployment.  Very soon I will have a link on this site on how to purchase the book.

It’s amazing to me how children can open up and share their experiences with out any hesitation.  Over all, my granddaughters thought their time with us was fun and exciting, even though they missed their mother greatly.

How to stay connected with your Grandchildren through today’s technology

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I have been the type of person that was  not that interested in  technology when it became available. Partly because I like simple and quick results and did not want to take the time to learn the new processes. In business I was open to it but not in my personal life. I look back I think I just did not feel I had the time at home to just sit down and take the time . My husband had always encouraged me to learn, but I leaned on  him to deal with those technology issues. I know I was lucky he did it for me at that time. But one day he told  me I had to learn how to use these different types of technology, and  he was not going to continue doing it for me. I knew he was right.

I began to change my mindset and decided to become open to learning something new.

My granddaughters would tell me about their IPOD and when they came to visit they showed me how they could listen to music and watch movies. They also used DS’s which had games they played they taught me how to play, but I was not very good at it.  They would uses these  devises  when they had  car and airplane rides . My granddaughters saved their own money to buy their IPODS, and DS’s. And they take very ggod care of them.

When were were back in our own homes I missed talking to them . I enjoy keeping in touch with my granddaughters and learning what they are doing in school, friends and their dance lessons.

We started emailing to each other . My youngest granddaughter emails me daily. It’s fun just reading some of her comments and most of the time she makes me laugh. One day in one of her email ‘s during the week she wrote a list of items she was to complete. And here is what se wrote-

1. Finish  home work….Check

2. Work on school project…. Check

3. Email G-ma…Check

What are you doing G-ma?

They call us G-ma and G-pa  abbreviation for Grandma and Grandpa when they email us.

In our emails to one another we exchange the weather of where we are at, what we are doing that day, and sometimes she send me the cutest pictures of puppies and kittens. We have such a good time sharing with one another and what we have been up to. Sometimes I thing our emailing back and forth we share more about what we are really thinking and feeling then if we were talking. And that’s saying something because we all love to talk.

I am glad I decided to be open with technology . I have so many ways to communicate today. When  your grandkids live long distance you have so many choices to how to keep connected.

Keeping up with what your grandchildren’s technology for communication is key to staying connected with them.

How Ombudsman programs are helping military families

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I was invited to speak about how deployment effected me as a guardian/grandparent at an Ombudsman conference by the Naval Reserve on Saturday January 22. I was unsure what is an Ombudsman? I had to look up the definition of word and found out  it means- a person investigates complaints and mediates fairly.

Once I realized I would be speaking  to individuals that directly  help military families I could hardly wait. Being able to share what I learned in order to help those facing what I did I could not ask for anything more. I put together a PowerPoint presentation which listed the characteristics of being a working empty nester guardian/grandparent and all the issues we faced during our daughters deployment.  I was encouraged to bring a copy of my book and any materials I felt I thought would be helpful. I brought  the magazine National Foundations November issue which featured our family, copies of 10 tips to prepare for deployment, copy of my book and a family picture.

I drove to San Diego yesterday which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes. It was a beautiful day and the drive went very quickly.

When I arrived at the conference I set up my display of materials onto a large table.  The conference  coordinators introduce me to  a group of approximately 30 Ombudsman . I told my story and along with my PowerPoint. they listened intently and I knew they were truly interested in better understanding of what guardians go through.

I also shared with them some of my new items I will be releasing in a few months, revising my book to include a deployment guide and my granddaughters book- Deployed Kids. This book is a kid to kid book written by my granddaughters. Once it’s published it will be available through my website. The attendees of the conference had many questions and great suggestions as I move forward in helping families on my website. They even suggested that single parents that plan to marry, the new spouse would appreciate my information. I never thought of that. They asked me if I would be able to come to events where deployed guardians would be attending and speak to those groups, and I agreed to help in anyway I could. This is what I have been waiting for.

I learned that the Navy and Coast Guard have Ombudsman’s through out the country, the Army have Army Family Liaison Officers, and the Marines have Key Volunteer Network. They all work with the Military  Family Care groups. They informed  me that the local  Orange County Marine Base Camp Pendleton  would have helped me when my daughter was deployed even though my daughter was in the Air Force.  This is something I am going to investigate into. They shared with me  that any branch of service will help a deployed family. I wondered why everyone does not know that?

These Ombudsman are the spouses of military and they truly care. One Ombudsman came up to me after I spoke and said to me “ I am sorry Debbie, we failed you while your daughter was deployed!” I told her not to worry I didn’t know at the time that there was help out there. A Naval Captain came up to me and said “ You have made my officers think about our deployed sailors and their families, Thank you for sharing your story”.

I  look forward to working with such a fine group of people dedicated to helping us clueless civilians.

I am on a mission now to get my word out to all of those helping liaisons with military families. If you know of any please send me your comments.