Tag Archives: stressed

How to support your child being a military parent


Fifteen years ago, our daughter was in her second year of college when she came home one day and said “ I am burned out of school. I don’t want to be a burden to you and Pop(our kids called my husband) so I have decided to join the Air Force.” We were stunned. I was thinking to myself “ARE YOU CRAZY?”We thought she was stressed out and confused. She reassured us that she had thought about this for many years and had not mentioned it to us, and she felt this was the time to do it.

As a parent what do you say? I could accept that my son would join the military, but my daughter? It was so hard for me to picture her in the military. As a child she had a hard time with anyone raising their voice to her! I asked myself, how would she get through basic training with all the yelling they do? funny thing, she did overcame this in basic training and grew into being a very strong person. Today she has five years away from putting in her 20 years in the Air Force, and will be promoted to Master Sergeant next year.

I would have never thought our daughter’s career would change my life. And  the pride I have for her for serving our  country.

Alan and I learned so much while she has been in the Air Force. When she was deployed to Afghanistan, we gave her our  complete  support. No one wants to be in a war, even those in the military. The military just want to protect us. I learned how our military and their families are willing to sacrifice their well being.

While she was deployed our entire family faced many challenges. When she needed us to become the guardians to her children, and  when she deployed,  we learned how to become parents, again.

We had no clue that those days raising our grandchildren would build an incredible bond with our daughter and granddaughters.

I learned how to support my daughters efforts by being there for her, and her children when they needed us most. I Learned how to understand how the military worked. How deployment effected our daughter, our granddaughters and ourselves. What I have learned, is that you can not stop learning, you face the challenges now matter what your age is.  And it is very rewarding.

God Bless those that want to protect our freedom and our Country, and their families supporting them.

When you become the mother

In the beginning of our daughter’s deployment my role as mother to my granddaughters I took very seriously. I was worried about if my grandchildren would really share their concerns with me.  I tried to be a very strong example for them, act positive and show no worries. After a few weeks I started feeling so stressed. I then took a look at myself, and realized I was just trying to hard to be a perfect person and  I  just had to let go and be  myself. Let the girls see me concerned now and then. This was real life, not a fantasy.

I had always done motherly duties for my granddaughters. Brushing and styling their hair, giving them baths, helping them pick out clothes.

My granddaughters loved taking bathes. They liked to soak in the tub  and play with toys, typical of children. One thing that I thought was so different, from when I cared for my children, is that they liked me to stay with them in the bathroom while they were in the bath tub, and talk to me, one on one.

This was their way of having their own individual time and my complete attention. What I found out was they would ask me my opinion of issues,  were they were unsure of how to handle. Such as, if a friend was unkind to one another. And the friends wanted them to take sides,  for no reason at all, or  they became mean to one an other. They would ask what I thought they should do?

This reminded me of when I raised my children, but what was different is that my granddaughters would open up and share their inner most thoughts with me. I never shared my inner most thoughts with my grandmother. I don’t know why, but I did not live with her either.

I guess this was because I was their temporary mother. What I learned don’t try to be more than what you are you already are. You are their mom for right now, but a grandmother for ever.