Tag Archives: support

How to prepare children for major life changes

I never knew how different military children were until  our granddaughters lived with us during their mom’s deployment.

When I was a kid my parents moved very often. They just liked to move and experience new surroundings. When I graduated from high school I had been to 13 schools. People would ask me” Is your dad in the military?” I never really thought about it until my granddaughters came to live with us.

My parents would tell me we were going to move about 2 weeks before the move. It was hard saying good bye to my friends and teachers. I hated being the “new girl” in school. But I made an effort and made friends quickly. I can say today I don’t have a problem going to events where I do not know anyone.

My daughter prepares her to her children for months in advance. She take about the possibilities of future moves. She would tell them if you were to go live with grandma and grandpa you will be able to go to my elementary school. You would have your own bedroom and live in the house I grew up in. And instead of only seeing your grandparents once a year on vacation you can live with them. So when  our daughter actually deployed  our granddaughters we prepared. They had thought about living with us.

The only problem with this preparation is the children can worry about the separation from their parent. They can become anxious and worry about when that time comes.

My granddaughters did adjust very quickly to living with us. Knew we had rules to follow and the these new rules would be different from their mother’s. they accepted they had to follow new rules and never argued about what our rules were compared to their home.

With our daughter’s future departure just around the corner my granddaughter’s household rules will change. My granddaughter’s are now preparing for those changes and I am too. Thinking about how I can help them when I plan on staying with them once a month.

Looking back at our last deployment  I do think it’s better to prepare a child for separation, like my daughter is doing. It maybe hard knowing my daughter will be leaving ,but adjusting to our new environment I think will be a lot easier.

Becoming a parent to my granddaughters, again!

Our daughter will be taking a new assignment and that means I am back being a parent to my granddaughters. Its been 5 years since our daughter deployed when her children came to live with us. At that time, my husband and I were totally unprepared for becoming our granddaughter’s guardians. But we love our granddaughters and  wanted to be there for them. It’s the same today.

But this time I will be a mobile grandma.Traveling out of state. The kids will be  staying with their stepfather and in their home. My son in law is a wonderful person. He was my daughter’s boyfriend when our she deployed, 5 years ago. He stepped in and supported my granddaughters and built a solid relationship. Over the years he has built a good relationship between my granddaughters. But becoming a single parent is challenging for anyone, especially a step dad.

This time I plan on going and staying for extended time very month. I have given a lot of thought about how we need to establish a system, so my granddaughters feel connected to my husband and I again. Along with allowing my son in law time for himself, to rest and know we are here to support him.

How we are going to do this I am unsure, just like 5 years ago. All I know is we love our daughter,granddaughters, and our son in law And we all want our daughter not to worry and her to do a great job.

Our love and faith in God will get us through this.




How to find Childcare



Here is a picture of my husband Alan and my granddaughter Bailey’s at her school’s Open House. My husband and I both helped her with her school project.

When my daughter deployed and her children arrived in our home the elementary school had been in session for 3 months. I tried to find after school care, and was unsuccessful. This to me was one of the biggest hurdles I faced while they lived with us.

Even though I worked out of my home, I clocked in at 8:00 and worked through 5:00pm. I really did not have a clock, but I pretended I did. I did take breaks and lunch just like any one would if you worked in at a company. This was called time management. I had the freedom to come and go from my office. I had no concerns about anyone else’s schedule except my husband’s. But when my granddaughters lived with us, that all changed.

When they arrived I searched for after school care and found out that all the programs were filled, they did put me on a waiting list. And needless to say no openings came available. I then had to figure out how I was going to put in the same amount of work time, but around my granddaughters school schedule. This was stressful, trying to balance out all my responsibilities. I had to stop what I was doing when my granddaughters  came home from school at around 2:45. Once they shared how their day was, they would  get a snack and then  began their home work. I would help them for about an hour and half,until my husband came home from work. I then went back to work for an hour and then started dinner. Once the children were in bed, I would work for 2 hours until I went to bed.

Schools now a days have half days once a week, that made my work day even harder. I had to figure out how to adjust my time. My granddaughters were very understanding and we  soon got into  a routine.

I realized I had to cut out my personal time, watching TV and crafting. There just wasn’t enough time in the day. I knew my granddaughters needed me. And I would remind myself when I had those hard days,  this time will pass and my family will be back to normal.  I would then sit and picture how happy were going to be when my daughter returned.

I had to go back and remember when I was a mom with children, I had very little time for myself. I think it is harder for women that have raised their children and you never think that you will be in that situation again of raising children.

Today I have learned that there are so many more resources for caregivers for children with daycare. Unfortunately, I was unaware of these organizations.  I understand these two organizations will also help those with financial difficulties.

This organization  helps find childcare providers for civilian and military families.


This organization is a nonprofit supporting grand parenting