Tag Archives: Deployed Grandparents being Parents

How do children cope with Deployment ?

I always wondered what my granddaughters thought of living with us during our daughter’s deployment. Last fall  when I was visiting my granddaughters I asked  them if they ever thought of sharing their experiences about deployment  with other children. They both got very excited thinking about  possibly writing their story and sharing with other children. They thought  it would be “COOL” to write a book like I did. They both shared with me they felt they wanted to  help other military kids not to be frightened and what to expect when a parent deploys. I asked them would they like me to help them write  their story? And they agreed it would be fun.

I suggested that I interview them individually with out the other knowing what their answers would be. Ivie and Bailey both thought this would be fun.  I began interviewing  each one without the other one hearing how they answered. I told them to pretend that I was a reporter not their grandmother and they could be totally honest with their answers. They enjoyed me asking the questions.

Once we completed their interview  we started selecting pictures to place in their book. It was fun looking back and seeing how they have grown since they lived with me. My granddaughters chose to dedicate their book to a special friend who supported them during their stay. Ivie felt she wanted to add helpful tips  to kids and what she thought would help them better understand what deployment was like for her.

When interviewing my granddaughters I was surprised how honest they were and so willing to share their true feelings.

We all enjoyed working together and creating their book . It brought back many memories for all of us,sharing the good and bad times of deployment and our time together.

We have completed the book, Deployed Kids – How we survived our  mom’s deployment to Afghanistan. Ivie and Bailey hope to share their book with other military children facing their parents deployment.  Very soon I will have a link on this site on how to purchase the book.

It’s amazing to me how children can open up and share their experiences with out any hesitation.  Over all, my granddaughters thought their time with us was fun and exciting, even though they missed their mother greatly.

How my granddaughter relieved my stress.


In the past most of my communications was done one on one on the telephone. Once I completed writing my book I began to learn  what social networking was all about. I am still learning since this is a median that is ever changing.

I have had a blog site and face book page Grandparents being Parents since I completed my book Deployed Grandparents being Parents. I have shared my progress with my granddaughters, Ivie and Bailey since I launched my book.

My eldest granddaughter, Ivie has been trying to convince her mother, my daughter to allow her to have her own face book page, so she can communicate with both sides of the family.  My daughter like most parents are very concerned with the internet, media and  exposure to children.  Ivie has shown  a high level of maturity and  responsibility, so my daughter came to an agreement. My daughter would monitor her face book.

While I was on line and posting an update on my face book page  Grandparents being Parents I receive a popup. Chat window opened up and it said from  Ivie and her message said “Hi Grandma how are you?” This made my day. I had never used this chat method. Due to being on a computer all day long, chatting seemed to be just to much for me. But this was different. This was with my granddaughter. I wrote back to her but could not figure out how to send it. I tried several times and became frustrated. So I logged on to her  face book and posted  a message it to her, asking her for help. Ivie then responded back on the chat telling me what to do. Checking in with me and seeing how I was doing.

Kids today seem to work out issues with social networking much better than my generation. I guess we were so use to having instructions. I was always fearful I would screw up my computer. I have created so much stress for myself.

I think I will continue to have my granddaughter give me pointers with my networking. My granddaughter is so patient with me and she is so proud that she can help me.

I would have never thought my grandchildren would teach me a thing or two. I look forward to learning more from them.

Deployed Grandparents

I am a working empty nester grandmother that became a care giver to her granddaughters, when our USAF daughter was deployed to Afghanistan. The children had to adjust to a non military lifestyle and moving to our home in another state. My role changed from being a grandmother to an acting parent with all the responsibilities. Our daughter faced the separation and feeling of disconnection of her role as a mother. We faced many challenges, and gained a greater understanding of what military families face when their love ones are deployed. We did not know when our daughter returned, how challenging it would be to reconnect her to her children and her old lifestyle, even though she did not experience trauma. I have written a book soon to be published book “Deployed Grandparents being Parents”, my personal journey during this time. Hoping this will help others that are care giving children. Even though our daughter has returned we face the possibility of future deployments, so our journey will continue..

Debbie Nichols