Author Archives: Debbie Nichols

I was a guest on NEWSTALK radio 590AM KTIE with Colonel Tom Freeman-Duty,Honor,Country

I was honored last night to be a guest on the show- Duty, Honor, Country and share my experiences when our USAF daughter deployed and our granddaughters came to live with us.

This was a the first time experience for me, being a guest on  a  radio show. Colonel Tom Freeman was so personable, and made me feel welcomed, I felt very comfortable sharing my past experiences on the air.

Tom wanted to know what my husband and I  faced when our  daughter deployed, and our granddaughter’s lived with us. I shared our feelings of concern and how I searched for information. He wanted to know about the book I written, Deployed Grandparents being Parents.  I also shared a helpful hint to keep the family connected during deployment.

  This will be aired  on Sunday 5/30 and 5:00pm.  The interview  went so quickly, and before I knew it the interview was over. I really enjoyed it.

This reverted  me back  to when I heard the news that my granddaughters would be living with us. And all those unknown feelings rushing in my head. How will my granddaughters act living with us? How could we manage with our work and  school schedules. Will my granddaughters adjust to living in California? Should I act like their mother or being their grandmother? When my daughter returns how will she adjust back?

There are so many questions when you are  facing unknown territory.

I always remembered this verse- If God is for us, who can be against us.

Then I would take a deep breathe.  I realized, I really don’t know what is to be, I just have to let go. My love for my family will allow me to make the right decisions. You will need to be more than a grandmother, a disciplinarian, and counselor.

  1. Trust yourself- You raised your children and you have more experience now, then before.
  2. Get a calendar for the up coming month- Itemize a list of the up coming must do items – grocery shopping, planning meals, school activities ( school homework deadline dates, open house, after school games, what ever). Items keeping you and the kids on track. Schedule those task and then check them off when you are done. You will see results and feel good about it.
  3. Make a Chore Chart for kids- I itemized a list of tasks the girls were responsible for- table setting, clearing the table, cleaning their room, etc. This chart had adhesive stars to be placed when they completed that task. This gave our grandchildren a feeling of  pride, accomplishment, and they felt they were a part of the family.

If you can see your plan, this eliminates your stress. You will build a feeling of being in control. Kids like structure, and if they do not have it, they do not feel loved. You want them to feel they are loved!

A reporter asked me “What was the first night like when your granddaughters came to live with you?”

We were all exhausted from driving from Arizona to California. We unpacked the truck with all the clothes and toys my granddaughters wanted to bring with them. They were excited to have their own rooms, unlike sharing the bedroom at home.

After dinner I gave them a bath and the six year old said to me   “Grandma should I call you mommy?” My heart sunk. Was she thinking her mother would not return? Or was she confused since I will be raising her? And that made be think I hope not, I still want to be the grandmother.

My response was “ No, you can still call me grandma even though your mommy is away.” She smiled at me.

This will always stick in my mind.

“My family really does come first. It always did and always will.”- Meryl Streep and I agree!

It had been over 15 years since I helped with homework and I was an average student.

I thought to myself-OK it can’t be that bad. But I was wrong. I knew I was in trouble when Ivie came home from school and said “Grandma I need to know how to calculate metrics in these math problems”. Oh boy! I said “Ivie I never learned metrics” Ivie looked panicked, “but your Grandpa uses metrics everyday at work”. Thank Goodness! She then looked relieved.

When Alan came home from work they went running to him. He was so excited to see them. Ivie then asked him about metrics, Alan said sure I will show you how to figure that out. Ivie turned and smiled at me.

excerpt from the book – Deployed Grandparents being Parents