Tag Archives: communication

Look for the upcoming National Guard Foundations magazine article-Taking the Reins when grandparents become legal guardians

I have had the pleaser to be interviewed by Rachel Stone writer for the National Guard Foundation magazine a few months ago. She was not only interested in my side of the story, she interviewed my family. The magazine is sent to 400,000 National Guard soldiers. I shared my story of being a working empty nester and caring for my granddaughters while my daughter deployed.  For those of you receiving the magazine I understand it is in this month’s issue in Above & Beyond section page 41.

Once I  receive  the article  I will post it  for you to read.

Red Cross of Southern California has help for the deployed families

 

I had the opportunity to share my story with the Red Cross last week .

My understanding of  the Red Cross  is to assist the military families when the families needed a message sent to their deployed family member and visa verse, which is true. What I have also learned  is that the Red Cross has many other responsibilities  for the  deployed military.

Helping deployed families get assistance in many capacities. They have available information for deployed families with preschool children that have their parent deployed. Materials on how to understand how the deployed military person will think, when returning back from their tour of duty. Books on how what the military family member will be going through when they return.

When my daughter returned I thought it would be like Christmas, everyone happy and excited to be together again. Part of this is true  for the families members waiting for their loved one to return. But for the deployed returning they did not want this type of  attention given to them for doing their job, this is a very tough transition for them. I had to learn this the hard way.  My daughter was in an a very intense environment with close relationships with her counter parts feeling the same way she did. The serviceperson knows they are totally on their game, doing what they were trained for, and doing it well. A feeling of outstanding achievement. Coming home the transition  felt so meaningless for her in the beginning. Our lifestyle here in the states, we complain about things, and really don’t understand what life and death really means. Who wouldn’t have a hard time with readjusting back to our society? I surely would.

But the Red Cross has information to help you. Contact your local Red Cross and access what will help you get your loved one back on track.

One thing I did was to try and ask my daughter how she was feeling. I let her take the lead and share what she wanted to. She told me in the beginning she did not feel like she fit in here, and was concerned how she was going to raise her children. But in time she adjusted and so did we. It took her 3 weeks to start opening up about her feelings. This is not an over night fix, it took months until she really could connect like she once did prior to deployment.

Be patient. Take time with your loved one to understand what they are going through.

I am looking forward to working with the Red Cross  and helping those parents and families members with deployment. Striving to share what the Red Cross has to offer the resources for military families.

The U. S. Postal Service was our best friend!

Being a mother you always want to know what your child was doing, even if she was full grown. When our daughter Erin deployed to Afghanistan  we were very curious and so were her children. What was she experiencing in this part of the world? We had so many questions . What was her living conditions like? What  the type of food was she eating? How is  the weather compared to where we lived? And hoping she was in a safe environment.

We communicated in the beginning via the telephone. Due to the deployment location the phone service was marginal. Once you were connected and started to speaking on the phone , you would here an echo of yourself speaking. It made you forget what you were about to say.

There was so much we wanted  Erin to share with us, but all Erin wanted to do was to learn what her daughters, my husband and myself had been doing.

One thing  that allowed our daughter and granddaughters to stay connected was their school work. Our daughter would review Ivie and Bailey’s school work daily prior to her deployment. Since they were living with us now and their school work was quite different, Erin was all ears.

One day I decided to include Ivie and Bailey’s week’s work of homework, personal  notes they wrote to Erin and a few personal items Erin had requested. I sent these items in a USPS priority mail  military box  and mailed them off.  Once Erin received them she was so excited. She could see the homework  progress and could then be able to talk with Ivie and Bailey about their school work. Ivie and Bailey enjoyed discussing what they had been learning and filing their mom in on how they were doing.

Every two weeks I would gather the items we would send to Erin. When we were ready to mail our box, at  our local Post Office, the postal workers would  greet us cheerfully knowing it was for Ivie and Bailey’s mom. Once Erin received the box,  we looked forward to hearing her comments.

Erin said that this made her feel like she was still a part of her daughter’s lives, even though she was overseas.