Category Archives: Stress

Happy Father’s day Here’s to those Dad’s raising their children alone

Leave a reply

I think our media does not cover how many dad’s are raising their children today.

I have a  high school friend of mine Don,who’s wife walked out on him and his children in the late 80’s. Don’s  daughter was 5 year old girl and his son was 9 year old boy at the time. Don had a very demanding corporate career at that time  and had to adjust his life to balance his career and additional family responsibility. It was so hard for him because he always wanted to married and have a family.

For many years Done was alone raising his children, address all the issues of single parenting, without any support. Most people don’t think of dad’s raising children and mother abandoning  her children.

Don divorced his wife. He’s ex-wife was uninterested in being a mother any more, she id not visit her children or   contact the children on their birthdays or holidays. Don never spoke badly of his ex-wife around his children. He could have.

Don learned how to braid his daughter”s hair before school. He involved  his children in  Boy Scouts,Girl Scouts, Soccer, after high school sports. He took his kids camping , and boating. Together they had many fun adventures.

Don remarried while his children were in grammar school. His wife Barbara  was as committed to supporting the children, but not wanting the children to feel she was taking the place of their mother.

Don’s children are grown adults now, college grads and both are happily married. I know how grateful they are to their father for raising them and showing his love to them.

Today is Father’s Day, so  here is to all those dad’s that took the time to raise and enjoy their children!

 

How to find Childcare

Leave a reply

 

100_2573

Here is a picture of my husband Alan and my granddaughter Bailey’s at her school’s Open House. My husband and I both helped her with her school project.

When my daughter deployed and her children arrived in our home the elementary school had been in session for 3 months. I tried to find after school care, and was unsuccessful. This to me was one of the biggest hurdles I faced while they lived with us.

Even though I worked out of my home, I clocked in at 8:00 and worked through 5:00pm. I really did not have a clock, but I pretended I did. I did take breaks and lunch just like any one would if you worked in at a company. This was called time management. I had the freedom to come and go from my office. I had no concerns about anyone else’s schedule except my husband’s. But when my granddaughters lived with us, that all changed.

When they arrived I searched for after school care and found out that all the programs were filled, they did put me on a waiting list. And needless to say no openings came available. I then had to figure out how I was going to put in the same amount of work time, but around my granddaughters school schedule. This was stressful, trying to balance out all my responsibilities. I had to stop what I was doing when my granddaughters  came home from school at around 2:45. Once they shared how their day was, they would  get a snack and then  began their home work. I would help them for about an hour and half,until my husband came home from work. I then went back to work for an hour and then started dinner. Once the children were in bed, I would work for 2 hours until I went to bed.

Schools now a days have half days once a week, that made my work day even harder. I had to figure out how to adjust my time. My granddaughters were very understanding and we  soon got into  a routine.

I realized I had to cut out my personal time, watching TV and crafting. There just wasn’t enough time in the day. I knew my granddaughters needed me. And I would remind myself when I had those hard days,  this time will pass and my family will be back to normal.  I would then sit and picture how happy were going to be when my daughter returned.

I had to go back and remember when I was a mom with children, I had very little time for myself. I think it is harder for women that have raised their children and you never think that you will be in that situation again of raising children.

Today I have learned that there are so many more resources for caregivers for children with daycare. Unfortunately, I was unaware of these organizations.  I understand these two organizations will also help those with financial difficulties.

This organization  helps find childcare providers for civilian and military families.

www.naccrra.org

This organization is a nonprofit supporting grand parenting

www.grandfamiliesofamerica.org

I spent my Memorial Day as a guest on the Patt Morrison’s Memorial Day radio talk show on KPCC-FM

Leave a reply

Last Thursday I got a phone call from my friend Pat Alivso from  Military Families Speak Out. She informed me that she had forwarded my name and information to staff member of the  Patt Morrison radio program. Patt Morrison’s Memorial day program was addressing challenges military families face, and my friend Pat knew we had a story to tell. The only problem was, I would be traveling home from Lake Havasu on Monday and crossing the desert, and cell phone service is  limited. I was concerned  of the  broadcast time and the phone reception  would not be clear enough for radio broadcasting. I told Pat thank you, but I just couldn’t see how I could be able to call in.

On Saturday I got a call from the Patt Morrison’s program Producer. She shared with me the other guests on the show and the time 1:20 pm for me to call in. She understood that  I would be  traveling and they really wanted to share our story with Patt’s listeners. The time was later than than when my friend told me. At 1:20pm we would be in Indio where the reception would be good. The Producer asked many many questions about our experiences. She then shared with me her vision of a future  forum with a live audience where the audience could ask questions, more interactive and was wondering if I would be interested on being on the forum. Would I, you bet. I love helping those that are now facing what I faced.

On Memorial Day as we were driving home I thought about what questions Patt would ask me and I began to think back about that time of deployment. We arrived in Indio at 1:00 pm. We pulled off the highway and went to a shopping center. I told my husband to park our truck away from any other cars. I was concerned that when I would be speaking the audience would hear additional noise and possible feedback. The weather was mild mid 80”s unusual for this time of the year, but perfect for stopping and stretching our legs. At 1:10 my cellphone rings, it the Patt’s Morrison staff, asking me if I would like to be on hold and hear the conversation Patt was interviewing Tim Kahlor’s father was discussing with Patt his son’s injuries. This father has made our government aware of  his son’ injures during the war,  improper body protect guard and the challenges of medical assistance. It was very interesting. And I realized how fortunate our family is.

Then at little past 1:20 Patt introduces me, sharing the challenges we faced being a grandparent raising our grandchildren, trying to keep the children connected to their mother and the difficulties I faced when the children returned back to their home. Patt’s experience as a reporter for LA Times, Winner of 6 Emmy’s, Golden Mick and received a Pulitzer, she made me feel welcomed and as if I was speaking to a friend. It was a wonderful experience. Before I knew my time was up. It was such a pleasure being on her show. I am really looking forward to the future forum.

How did you spend your Memorial Day?

“Interview with Patt Morrison, 89.3 KPCC-FM | 89.1 KUOR-FM | 90.3 KPCV-FM, Southern California Public Radio”

http://www.scpr.org/programs/patt-morrison/2011/05/30/military-families-and-their-private-front-lines