Category Archives: returning soliders

How to prepare the service member children when their military parent has a Mid Tour or R&R

This summer we made it a point to be extremely busy, because of our daughter’s 1 year military assignment over seas. We did this deliberately. Our daughter was able to come home for a Mid Tour or R&R  to be with their family in July.

We were very excited, and a bit anxious of how our daughter would be when she returned home. I was warned by many military families ,spouses and counselors, this is a very exciting time being reunited. And can be even more painful, when the service member returns back to their duty.

I was nervous. When our daughter returned from deployment in 2008, she was a different person and we as a family had to work at reconnecting her family back. Was this how it would be when she comes home during her Mid Tour?

The school social workers told I needed to prepare my granddaughters. Share with them their excitement of their mother returning and reminding them this was only temporary. Talk about how many days the family will be together and then the date their mother will have to leave. I did just that. I knew this was going to be challenging for all of us.

When our daughter returned home,  a few days later my granddaughter Ivie had her dance recital. My husband and I drove out to attend the performance. We stayed with our daughter. I tried asking my daughter questions about her experiences overseas and she gave me one word answers. I knew this was similar to when she came home from deployment. My daughter was extremely tired which is understandable traveling from overseas and dealing with the  time change, so I let it go. She really did not talk much that weekend. The weekend went by and my husband and I drove back to California.

A week later our daughter and her family came to our home in California to spend the 4th of July. Our town is very patriotic, has a 2 hour parade which is televised and evening fireworks. We all rode our  bicycles  to where the parade route would be. We had so much fun that day.

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Our daughter spent 5 days with us and it was not until end of her visit, she began to open up. She shared stories about people ,the food the climate and places she had visited and the family began to reconnect with her. She was beginning to be her old self prior to her leaving. We all where so happy laughing at her stories.

But we knew this was only temporary it would come to end once she  had to return.

When she was getting ready to return  I decided to stay home and not see  her off at the airport. It found it  to painful seeing her expressions, her crying, knowing difficult  it must be for her to  leave her husband and her children.


I cried several nights prior to her leaving. I think most family members do the same thing. Once the day came for her to leave and she was in the airport waiting for her flight, she called my husband and I. She thanked us for all we are doing for helping her husband and children. My husband and I know this challenging time  is an opportunity for us to know our  family even more. Because someday it will all change. It is not easy for any family. We all encouraged one another on the phone reminding us that soon December will be here and this will be all over.  We will be back together again.

We are on the downward slide to December.


Coming soon- Want to know how to reconnect with your returning soldier

I will be offering very soon- 7 Steps to Reconnecting You with Your Returning Soldier. I have created this   Audio product with workbook  to help military families know what to expect when their soldier returns. I found this part of deployment being the most challenging of all. I had very little information when my daughter returned. I was in shock how different my daughter was when she returned even though she saw no tragedy and how challenging it is for our family.

As a family member you are not sure what exactly  to say and do when your soldier returns. The soldier has changed. You know they love you, but they act so different, they are cold and disconnected.  I have developed this product to help the families better understand the soldier’s mindset and the changes the family must make.

I will keep you posted!

My granddaughters and I are Community Partners at Military Yellow Ribbon events

This was an exciting time for my granddaughters and I to be able to talk with our peers about our experiences with deployment and what to expect. EVERYONE HAS CHANGED!


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We were invited as a Community Partner for the Army Reserves there were 40 Community Partners. Each partner provides services to assist the solider  be it- financial, health, emotional challenges, continued education, and my granddaughters and I – family support. My granddaughters were excited, these had their own display table and badges! They enjoyed setting up their own display table. and speaking to families and kids about their book, and video they made. My youngest granddaughter Bailey purchases her own IPAD. She was demoing the Deployed Kids website! I can tell you they were the hit of the Community Partners.


Somehow I was to busy speaking with families and enjoying how my granddaughters interacted with other military children and families , I forgot to  take a picture of my display! Oh well we will be together next month at another Yellow Ribbon event in Phoenix. I will remember to take a picture