Tag Archives: families

My granddaughter’s 8th grade promotion!

 

May 2011 pt 2 018 (2)

 

I think every grandparent experiences  the sense of their grandchildren growing up faster than their own children. I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because we  remember when our children where that age or we appreciate each moment in time. Or maybe it’s because I remember graduating from 8th grade myself. What ever it is, I can hardly believe my eldest granddaughter, Ivie will be going to high school this fall.

I was able to attend her promotion from 8th grade. This promotion ceremony was mid week and in the morning. It was different from my children’s, due to it being daytime and only allowing adults to attend. My youngest granddaughter Bailey, Ivie’s younger sister was disappointed that  she and other siblings of the graduating class were not allowed to attend. Bailey was in her classroom while we were at the ceremony, it was the last day of school for everyone.

The ceremony started at 9:00 am in the gymnasium at Ivie’s school. The ceremony was  nice and very organized. I enjoyed seeing all those children graduate and knowing they have their whole life ahead of them.

I had so much fun being there.

She is a wife of a deployed, a mom of a deployed, a grandmother/guardian of her deployed daughter’s children all at the same time!

My husband Alan and I  had the honor to meet many supporting military  families at the Yellow Ribbon event for the deployed Army Reserves.  I loved hearing their personal stories of what their family experiences have been with their deployments. Each story is unique and touches my heart, and we all have a common ground. Trying to cope with what you have been dealt, and attempting to achieve a positive outlook and experience.

I know our personal situation with deployment was challenging, with being a parents to our granddaughters. Each family had a special story.

One families’ story I think stuck out in my mind that day. A woman shared with  Alan and I that her husband was currently deployed, for the past  year. While her husband was deployed, just four  months ago, she became the guardians of her Army Reserves daughter’s three children, ages -16, 10 and 6. She and her husband had downsized to a smaller home, a 1 bedroom and a loft, 10 years ago. She lives relatively  close to her daughter’s home. She felt she wanted to provide her grandchildren a familiar surroundings and a normal routine. She felt this would help them during  their mother’s deployment. The kids  get ready for school at their own home, and after school they would  return  to complete their homework. They all ate dinner together, then they would  gather  their belongings and sleep at their grandmother’s house. She felt she needed to sleep in her own bed. She shared with us the challenges of balancing the two households, children’s activates and her daily routine.

She is alone, facing all the mixed emotions and duties of her new responsibilities. When her husband returns, he will be able to help her in a few months. But in the meanwhile it’s all up to her.

I asked her how the children were dealing with this. She explained that the youngest child was convinced their mother would not return home safely. And they were fearful of anything happening to her, since she was the only one there for them. She was concerned and recognized the children’s  mental health was an issue. She sought out counseling to help the children and herself. I give her credit for reaching out for help. The military provides exceptional counseling for families dealing with all sorts of issues. I give her credit, for recognizing they all needed help!

I shared with her the website and my email, encouraging her to keep me posted on her progress, and if  she needed a shoulder to lean on,I was there for her. Knowing you have others that are or have been  in  the same situation is so gratifying. Knowing others  have come through deployment, makes all the difference in the world.

I am  proud to know other deployed families, and their commitment to sacrificing their lifestyle and making a difference for their family, doing what ever it takes for the family.  Cheers to those families!

We are the Force behind Our Force!

How Ombudsman programs are helping military families

I was invited to speak about how deployment effected me as a guardian/grandparent at an Ombudsman conference by the Naval Reserve on Saturday January 22. I was unsure what is an Ombudsman? I had to look up the definition of word and found out  it means- a person investigates complaints and mediates fairly.

Once I realized I would be speaking  to individuals that directly  help military families I could hardly wait. Being able to share what I learned in order to help those facing what I did I could not ask for anything more. I put together a PowerPoint presentation which listed the characteristics of being a working empty nester guardian/grandparent and all the issues we faced during our daughters deployment.  I was encouraged to bring a copy of my book and any materials I felt I thought would be helpful. I brought  the magazine National Foundations November issue which featured our family, copies of 10 tips to prepare for deployment, copy of my book and a family picture.

I drove to San Diego yesterday which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes. It was a beautiful day and the drive went very quickly.

When I arrived at the conference I set up my display of materials onto a large table.  The conference  coordinators introduce me to  a group of approximately 30 Ombudsman . I told my story and along with my PowerPoint. they listened intently and I knew they were truly interested in better understanding of what guardians go through.

I also shared with them some of my new items I will be releasing in a few months, revising my book to include a deployment guide and my granddaughters book- Deployed Kids. This book is a kid to kid book written by my granddaughters. Once it’s published it will be available through my website. The attendees of the conference had many questions and great suggestions as I move forward in helping families on my website. They even suggested that single parents that plan to marry, the new spouse would appreciate my information. I never thought of that. They asked me if I would be able to come to events where deployed guardians would be attending and speak to those groups, and I agreed to help in anyway I could. This is what I have been waiting for.

I learned that the Navy and Coast Guard have Ombudsman’s through out the country, the Army have Army Family Liaison Officers, and the Marines have Key Volunteer Network. They all work with the Military  Family Care groups. They informed  me that the local  Orange County Marine Base Camp Pendleton  would have helped me when my daughter was deployed even though my daughter was in the Air Force.  This is something I am going to investigate into. They shared with me  that any branch of service will help a deployed family. I wondered why everyone does not know that?

These Ombudsman are the spouses of military and they truly care. One Ombudsman came up to me after I spoke and said to me “ I am sorry Debbie, we failed you while your daughter was deployed!” I told her not to worry I didn’t know at the time that there was help out there. A Naval Captain came up to me and said “ You have made my officers think about our deployed sailors and their families, Thank you for sharing your story”.

I  look forward to working with such a fine group of people dedicated to helping us clueless civilians.

I am on a mission now to get my word out to all of those helping liaisons with military families. If you know of any please send me your comments.