Tag Archives: families

How can I let go of the past and make a new adventure?

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We have lived in our home for 25 years. We raised our children and had our grandchildren during our daughter’s deployment in 2008. Our neighborhood is unique with 95 homes. We would decorate our homes for Christmas and the neighborhood would win awards by the City of Placentia. At Halloween we would have between 150- 300 children trick or treating. When our kids were young they would dress up and  decorate our home as a haunted house. This drew large number of  children so  my husband and I decided we would sit in our driveway and pass out candy. Many neighbors did the same thing. The police would patrol through our neighborhood, not because of any problems but because of the crowds. Everyone had a good time.

People say our neighborhood is  like how it is in the Midwest. Everyone knowing each other and helping one another, no matter who needed help. It’s been a great place to live,we formed wonderful friendships, and a fun place to raise our children. But the home is too large now for just the two of us now. We decided to downsize, it was a hard decision for me. But I knew I needed a  place where we could  take off  more easily.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I was so connected to our home because our children and especially having our  granddaughters who lived with us. I was so attached to all the old memories and I had to let that go and learn to be open to change.

To make this change a positive on we decided to pick a place different from where we lived.

We have chosen to move to Huntington Beach.To live one mile from the water and change up our life. We lived in Huntington Beach over 30 years ago when our children were small and now we coming full circle. My granddaughters are very excited that we will be living at the beach and our family is too.

We have to make the change and yeah it’s painful at times, the feeling of the unknown, and letting go of things I felt attached to, but I have to do it. And there is a side of me that is so excited to have a new adventure in my life. My granddaughter’s can’t wait to come visit us and play at the beach. They told me they will miss their old friends in our old neighborhood and my neighbors in Placentia, but they can’t wait to come visit us. I told them they could invite their friends to come over to our home when they came in town to visit us. They really liked that idea…

Change is good, hard at times to accept, but in the long run you must be open to change. One guarantee in life, life is about change. What I have learned is that my friends will still be my friends no matter where I live. To accept my new life, and I will now have the flexibility to go visit my granddaughters when ever I am needed. This is a good thing.

How do Military Families Speak Out?

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I attended  the first Military Families Speak Out Conference on  October 2 in Long Beach, California.

I was unaware what this organization had to offer military families. Their focus is on peaceful measures and supporting their military loved ones.

The conference presenters shared what military families can do with reconnecting military person back into society, having been discharged from the military. Many of those returning into our society are not prepared for civilian life, and especially with our economy challenges.

From what I understand when you are military discharged you are so excited that you don’t think much of what the military can offer in education, medical, and preparation back into society. And for those facing physical or mental challenges, there are total confidential organizations that have no connection to our  military. One of those organizations is Soldiers Project. I had a chance to speak to the founder- Judith Broder M.D. psychiatrist about those hidden wounds of war. She has over 400 therapist helping our servicemen, service woman and their families heal. Most military personal experience have a problem connecting with their new living conditions. And who wouldn’t from being in a severe life threatening environment and now facing our society issues, which can seem pretty silly.

I learned that their are so many challenges families face with returning combat vets. We dealt with our daughter returning and we did have some challenges, but we were thankful our issues were minor. But I was so glad to hear how private organizations have formed to help these Vets.

This is were we have learned to acknowledge that deployments can have many issues for so many.

Michelle Obama responded to my letter

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I sent my book to  President Obama, Michelle Obama, Jill Biden, and the joints Chiefs of Staff of all Military Branches. I wrote to them to bring awareness of  families supporting their family members serving deployments. I understand Michelle Obama and Jill Biden have become more involved with trying to understand what is needed to support our military and their families. There are so many issues to address. I felt privileged they answered my letter.

In my letter I  offered to help educate, share, coach those military families that face the challenges I faced, when we were guardians of our grandchildren. Deployment effects the entire family. A civilian like myself, living not near a military base. You are isolated and  are in your own war zone. Trying to adjust to the new responsibilities, trying to hide your fear, and having a smiling face to the outside world is a tremendous part you have to play.

I hope someday I can key note speak. Share I learned  dealing with deployment and making that time with my granddaughters a special time.