Tag Archives: deployment

How Yellow Ribbon events help the family to prepare for all stages of deployment?

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I had the opportunity to present my Key Note speech at a Yellow Ribbon event on April 9 for the 96th MPBN combined with the 321st MP DET CI Army Reserve families.

Yellow Ribbon events are broken down in  a numbered series  from 1- 7.  Series 1-Starting Planning Phase of deployment through  Series 7 – 90 days after returning from active duty.

This Yellow Ribbon event  was addressing Series 3 and 4, present deployment with  educating on how to help your solider  on re reintegration. This one day event started at 8:00 am through 5:00pm . The Family Readiness  coordinates these events for adults and the children. Each military family was given a prepared scheduled  agenda, outlining sessions to attend that would help them with their current and future issues they were about to  experience. I only  wished I would have had this when I was caring for my granddaughters.

The Yellow Ribbon event included other community partners like ourselves,  organizations providing assistance to the military families. These partners provided  table top displays along with their information. For our table top display we  brought a display board, our books -Deployed Grandparents being Parents and Deployed Kids and  business cards . The display board,  our daughter created when she returned from her deployment in Afghanistan in 2008. She created this  for our family’s Welcome home party. Who would of thought at that time I would be using it for a Yellow Ribbon event for  deployed families.

The picture you see is Major Johnson, surprisingly we learned he was  deployed and stationed in Baghram the same time our daughter was there. He worked in the back of the building our daughter was working in. Small world! My husband and I enjoyed hearing what his deployment experiences were like.

The military families enjoyed seeing our display board and sharing their stories of their military loved one’s current deployment with my husband Alan and I.  Alan and I shared our  support and tried to give suggestions on how hope to cope with their present situation. Military mom’s always shed a tear or two with us when they explain how they are dealing with deployment. I reassured these moms, it’s OK to cry, your entitled we are the moms,we are all in this together, and we understand what you are going through.

Yellow Ribbon events are a way for everyone in the family to better understand what are the stages of deployment , how to handle those stages  and most importantly- this event is  for everyone in the family.

I worked with Jhoselyn Ramirez -CFLE  Family Readiness Support Assistant. She provided me with complete instructions on my prior arrival, the day of the event  and what I needed to provide. I found this event was so well organized, educational, and a big stress reliever  for the families. Families shared with me how happy they were to learn how to handle their situation and now knowing where to get support.

I encourage if you are invited to attend your families Yellow Ribbon event you go!

President Obama has said” Military families are the force behind our Force.” And we are those families.

My next blog I will share with you a woman I met,  a married  grandmother. Her husband deployed last year, then  just recently her single parent daughter deployed leaving her daughter’s children with her. She was a Deployed Wife and a Deployed Grandma at the same time!

 

Jewelry is not always a girl’s best friend!

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Just before my daughter deployed she gave my granddaughters necklaces with her picture inside the heart locket. She told her daughters that they could look at her everyday when she was away by opening up the locket.They cherished the necklaces and wore the necklaces everyday. They were so careful removing the necklace before getting into their bath water. But children are children and things happen.

The first incident occurred a few weeks staying with us. My youngest granddaughter Bailey, was upstairs playing  in her room after school.  I heard her give out a blood curdling scream and began crying. I ran upstairs to see what had happened and she was hysterically crying while burying her face into her hands. I asked her what happened and she looked up at me with tears running down her face she said “ I have killed mommy!”

She then showed me that her necklace with the locket, when she opened the picture of her mother’s  face was rubbed off. She continued to cry. I told her not to worry, that we could find another picture and  replace the picture she had. She slowly stopped crying.  I reassured her that what happened to the picture had nothing to do with her mother. That she had not kill her mother. I told her we had lots of pictures in our computer and grandpa would  make a new picture for her locket.  Bailey stood right next to my husband. He was seated in front of his computer and she watched his every move.  He  then  printed the picture, and begun  cutting it out to fit inside the locket. He placed the new picture into the locket and Bailey smiled and said thank you.

The second incident happened about a month later ,when Ivie the eldest granddaughter was at school. Somehow she did not clasp the necklace correctly when she up it on in the morning. While playing on the basket ball court at recess she suddenly realized the necklace was  tucked inside of her shirt but the locket was missing. She began to cry. Ivie’s teacher realized how upset Ivie was. Recess was over, but she allowed Ivie and her friends retrace Ivie’s steps. Ivies’ teacher Miss Neff knew that this necklace was more that an ordinary necklace, that her mother gave it prior to deployment, and it was  symbol of their love and connection. After carefully retracing Ivie’s steps it was a miracle but  they found the locket. When I went to walk the Ivie and Bailey home from school that day, Ivies’ teacher shared with me what happened with the necklace. I thanked Miss Neff for helping Ivie and for being so understanding.

And that night Ivie and Bailey informed me that they decided to leave the necklaces at home. They were afraid something would happen to and  I agreed. They laid the necklaces on their dresser. They would look at  their necklaces every morning and night before bed.

So when picking out an item of remembrance, sometimes jewelry is not a girls best friend.

How do children cope with Deployment ?

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I always wondered what my granddaughters thought of living with us during our daughter’s deployment. Last fall  when I was visiting my granddaughters I asked  them if they ever thought of sharing their experiences about deployment  with other children. They both got very excited thinking about  possibly writing their story and sharing with other children. They thought  it would be “COOL” to write a book like I did. They both shared with me they felt they wanted to  help other military kids not to be frightened and what to expect when a parent deploys. I asked them would they like me to help them write  their story? And they agreed it would be fun.

I suggested that I interview them individually with out the other knowing what their answers would be. Ivie and Bailey both thought this would be fun.  I began interviewing  each one without the other one hearing how they answered. I told them to pretend that I was a reporter not their grandmother and they could be totally honest with their answers. They enjoyed me asking the questions.

Once we completed their interview  we started selecting pictures to place in their book. It was fun looking back and seeing how they have grown since they lived with me. My granddaughters chose to dedicate their book to a special friend who supported them during their stay. Ivie felt she wanted to add helpful tips  to kids and what she thought would help them better understand what deployment was like for her.

When interviewing my granddaughters I was surprised how honest they were and so willing to share their true feelings.

We all enjoyed working together and creating their book . It brought back many memories for all of us,sharing the good and bad times of deployment and our time together.

We have completed the book, Deployed Kids – How we survived our  mom’s deployment to Afghanistan. Ivie and Bailey hope to share their book with other military children facing their parents deployment.  Very soon I will have a link on this site on how to purchase the book.

It’s amazing to me how children can open up and share their experiences with out any hesitation.  Over all, my granddaughters thought their time with us was fun and exciting, even though they missed their mother greatly.