Category Archives: coping

Becoming a parent to my granddaughters, again!

Leave a reply

Our daughter will be taking a new assignment and that means I am back being a parent to my granddaughters. Its been 5 years since our daughter deployed when her children came to live with us. At that time, my husband and I were totally unprepared for becoming our granddaughter’s guardians. But we love our granddaughters and  wanted to be there for them. It’s the same today.

But this time I will be a mobile grandma.Traveling out of state. The kids will be  staying with their stepfather and in their home. My son in law is a wonderful person. He was my daughter’s boyfriend when our she deployed, 5 years ago. He stepped in and supported my granddaughters and built a solid relationship. Over the years he has built a good relationship between my granddaughters. But becoming a single parent is challenging for anyone, especially a step dad.

This time I plan on going and staying for extended time very month. I have given a lot of thought about how we need to establish a system, so my granddaughters feel connected to my husband and I again. Along with allowing my son in law time for himself, to rest and know we are here to support him.

How we are going to do this I am unsure, just like 5 years ago. All I know is we love our daughter,granddaughters, and our son in law And we all want our daughter not to worry and her to do a great job.

Our love and faith in God will get us through this.

 

 

 

I spent my Memorial Day as a guest on the Patt Morrison’s Memorial Day radio talk show on KPCC-FM

Leave a reply

Last Thursday I got a phone call from my friend Pat Alivso from  Military Families Speak Out. She informed me that she had forwarded my name and information to staff member of the  Patt Morrison radio program. Patt Morrison’s Memorial day program was addressing challenges military families face, and my friend Pat knew we had a story to tell. The only problem was, I would be traveling home from Lake Havasu on Monday and crossing the desert, and cell phone service is  limited. I was concerned  of the  broadcast time and the phone reception  would not be clear enough for radio broadcasting. I told Pat thank you, but I just couldn’t see how I could be able to call in.

On Saturday I got a call from the Patt Morrison’s program Producer. She shared with me the other guests on the show and the time 1:20 pm for me to call in. She understood that  I would be  traveling and they really wanted to share our story with Patt’s listeners. The time was later than than when my friend told me. At 1:20pm we would be in Indio where the reception would be good. The Producer asked many many questions about our experiences. She then shared with me her vision of a future  forum with a live audience where the audience could ask questions, more interactive and was wondering if I would be interested on being on the forum. Would I, you bet. I love helping those that are now facing what I faced.

On Memorial Day as we were driving home I thought about what questions Patt would ask me and I began to think back about that time of deployment. We arrived in Indio at 1:00 pm. We pulled off the highway and went to a shopping center. I told my husband to park our truck away from any other cars. I was concerned that when I would be speaking the audience would hear additional noise and possible feedback. The weather was mild mid 80”s unusual for this time of the year, but perfect for stopping and stretching our legs. At 1:10 my cellphone rings, it the Patt’s Morrison staff, asking me if I would like to be on hold and hear the conversation Patt was interviewing Tim Kahlor’s father was discussing with Patt his son’s injuries. This father has made our government aware of  his son’ injures during the war,  improper body protect guard and the challenges of medical assistance. It was very interesting. And I realized how fortunate our family is.

Then at little past 1:20 Patt introduces me, sharing the challenges we faced being a grandparent raising our grandchildren, trying to keep the children connected to their mother and the difficulties I faced when the children returned back to their home. Patt’s experience as a reporter for LA Times, Winner of 6 Emmy’s, Golden Mick and received a Pulitzer, she made me feel welcomed and as if I was speaking to a friend. It was a wonderful experience. Before I knew my time was up. It was such a pleasure being on her show. I am really looking forward to the future forum.

How did you spend your Memorial Day?

“Interview with Patt Morrison, 89.3 KPCC-FM | 89.1 KUOR-FM | 90.3 KPCV-FM, Southern California Public Radio”

http://www.scpr.org/programs/patt-morrison/2011/05/30/military-families-and-their-private-front-lines

She is a wife of a deployed, a mom of a deployed, a grandmother/guardian of her deployed daughter’s children all at the same time!

Leave a reply

My husband Alan and I  had the honor to meet many supporting military  families at the Yellow Ribbon event for the deployed Army Reserves.  I loved hearing their personal stories of what their family experiences have been with their deployments. Each story is unique and touches my heart, and we all have a common ground. Trying to cope with what you have been dealt, and attempting to achieve a positive outlook and experience.

I know our personal situation with deployment was challenging, with being a parents to our granddaughters. Each family had a special story.

One families’ story I think stuck out in my mind that day. A woman shared with  Alan and I that her husband was currently deployed, for the past  year. While her husband was deployed, just four  months ago, she became the guardians of her Army Reserves daughter’s three children, ages -16, 10 and 6. She and her husband had downsized to a smaller home, a 1 bedroom and a loft, 10 years ago. She lives relatively  close to her daughter’s home. She felt she wanted to provide her grandchildren a familiar surroundings and a normal routine. She felt this would help them during  their mother’s deployment. The kids  get ready for school at their own home, and after school they would  return  to complete their homework. They all ate dinner together, then they would  gather  their belongings and sleep at their grandmother’s house. She felt she needed to sleep in her own bed. She shared with us the challenges of balancing the two households, children’s activates and her daily routine.

She is alone, facing all the mixed emotions and duties of her new responsibilities. When her husband returns, he will be able to help her in a few months. But in the meanwhile it’s all up to her.

I asked her how the children were dealing with this. She explained that the youngest child was convinced their mother would not return home safely. And they were fearful of anything happening to her, since she was the only one there for them. She was concerned and recognized the children’s  mental health was an issue. She sought out counseling to help the children and herself. I give her credit for reaching out for help. The military provides exceptional counseling for families dealing with all sorts of issues. I give her credit, for recognizing they all needed help!

I shared with her the website and my email, encouraging her to keep me posted on her progress, and if  she needed a shoulder to lean on,I was there for her. Knowing you have others that are or have been  in  the same situation is so gratifying. Knowing others  have come through deployment, makes all the difference in the world.

I am  proud to know other deployed families, and their commitment to sacrificing their lifestyle and making a difference for their family, doing what ever it takes for the family.  Cheers to those families!

We are the Force behind Our Force!